SILENCE AND ISOLATION

After experiencing Sudden Unilateral Hearing Loss (SSHL) in 2017, I was in extreme pain and isolation. I used to wake up to the sudden sensation that everything around me was spinning (Vertigo), this lasted minutes and left my body weak for the rest of the day. I was also suffering from BPPV which stands for Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo. It is triggered by certain changes in head position, such as tipping the head up or down or looking to the side. During that time, any slight movement made me feel dizzy and nauseated.

I felt lonely, isolated, resting in bed most of the time and I could not do the one thing that gave me the most joy—painting.

I felt trapped in a nightmare. The sound was my worst enemy as I had developed Hyperacusis, a highly debilitating rare hearing disorder characterized by an increased sensitivity to certain frequencies and volume ranges of sound. Staying home and avoiding the phone, the TV and everything else that produced sound was the only way to mitigate some of the pain. But not all the noise could be avoided as now the noise also lived in my head, with my hearing loss, I developed Tinnitus or ringing in the ear and it has not left since then. Eventually, your brain learns to live with it... (in a way).

Naturally, I became depressed and anxious, the meds and my symptoms triggered constant mood swings. It was difficult to move freely or think straight as I was experiencing mental fog and lethargy, it was like living in a different world, a world I didn’t know how to cope with.